The Kinky Survey
The results are in: the Class of 2008 is the Kinkiest! Congratulations, Seniors. Before explaining the evidence behind this claim, I would like to commend everyone who made the Trojan Horses’ first Kinky Column Survey a success. There was a fairly large number of responses (321), but for various reasons, the sampling pool was reduced to 230 students (36 Freshmen, 29 Sophomores, 46 Juniors and 113 Seniors). Despite underclassmen and homosexuals being generally underrepresented, the survey responses varied greatly and painted an interesting picture of the sexual happenings at USC.
The Class of 2008 was named Kinkiest based on the number of partners they’ve had, their use of sex toys and their masturbation practices. It’s actually the Class of 2009 that holds the record for Most Promiscuous (see graph). 26.1% of Juniors have slept with 8 or more people, followed closely by the Seniors (25.7%) and Sophomores (20.7%). The freshman have some catching up to do in the next three years; only 4.6% of them have slept with more than 8 people.
While our younger friends might not be having a lot of sex these days, it’s pretty likely that they’re having a good time by themselves. Out of all 230 responses, 84.8% said they masturbate. You may be surprised to learn that 100% of straight girls compared to only 98.7% of straight guys rub one out by themselves. Gay guys had a 100% participation rate while gay girls said that only 60% of them get down solo. Out of the 44 write-in responses, 35 people reported using a vibrator or dildo. Other notable responses included: “anything else I can find that seems like a good idea,” “lube and/or tissues,” and “none o your beeswax.”
On the opposite end of the spectrum are those who like to have more than just one partner at a time. Whether the experience was a never-spoken-of incident in Cabo or a weekly tradition (as one young man boasted), threesomes are happening around ‘SC. We’ve all heard that the ancient Greeks were down to get down, but does the same hold true for our modern Greeks, over on 28th Street? The results tell us that 35% of guys in houses have been in a threesome while only 8.6% of sorority sisters can say the same (see graph). What does this all mean? Possibly that the bros are hooking up with girls outside the system (gasp!) or they’re just engaging in more 2-Guys / 1-Girl threesomes… but that’s neither here nor there.
Get ready to swallow this next load of stats down. There were 44 virgins who completed the survey. Just because they’re not having penetrative sex doesn’t mean they’re not giving and getting their share! 22.7% said that they like receiving oral sex. While, on the other side, 25% said they like giving oral sex. They’re a generous crowd.
As much as I’d rather not convey this next set of statistics (they’re embarrassing for everyone), I feel that it’s necessary. 40.3% of people who have sex and are not in relationships do not always use condoms. Don’t be too afraid yet, 65.7% of people who don’t always use condoms estimated that they do use them more than 75% of the time. Almost sounds reassuring; keep in mind, however, the first numbers that I threw out there about how much everyone sleeps around.
I’ve covered, the Greeks, the virgins, the masturbators, the careless and the kinky. I can’t forget to mention the 70 people keeping it real in relationships. It’s nice to know that monogamy hasn’t put out the flame for these couples: nearly one third of them revealed that they use sex toys or other objects with their partners. The majority of them, not surprisingly, use vibrators and dildos. Other exciting tools of pleasure include blindfolds, butt plugs, ice, handcuffs, ribbon and other restraints. If you think your friends are boring now that they’re no longer single, think again. These kids know how to get kinky!
Up until this point, I’ve been warming you up. Now it’s time for the climax. In response to last month’s article on Kinky Mishaps, the survey asked guys and girls to indicate all of the disasters that they’ve encountered. Here are the Top Five* for both:
Gentlemen Ladies
1. You couldn’t come/didn’t have condoms 1. You couldn’t come
2. You came too fast 2. Your partner came too fast
3. You came all over your partner 3. You didn’t have condoms
4. You couldn’t get it up 4. Dryness down-below
5. Your partner couldn’t come/things got messy (bloody) 5. He couldn’t get it up
*The guys had ties for first and fifth places.
The most common complications for both guys and girls have to do with reaching an orgasm. Each sex seems to have difficulty climaxing (a common side-effect of drinking), and both parties suffer from him getting off a little too fast. Another frequent problem that affects both sides is difficulty achieving an erection (also a side-effect of excessive drinking). Don’t be discouraged, guys. Take comfort in knowing that, clearly, you’re not alone.
Surprisingly, out of all the write-in questions, the one that got the most responses (more than half of you) asked about people’s preferences in terms of pubes. More than half of the responses indicated that they preferred a ‘trimmed’ partner, about a third of you said ‘bare’ and the rest of you either didn’t care or liked things ‘au natural’. Here are a few interesting responses: “trimmed preferred…less messy”, “guys, please don’t shave”, “bald, baby, bald!”, “tamed”, “generally shaved, but a well manicured design is OK”, “baby’s bottom”, “the more hair the better”, “down there, a woman doesn’t have to ‘dress up’ for me!” “though not popular, it’s nice for a man to be trimmed.” And, I think this last comment sums it up pretty nicely: “don’t give me any hair in my mouth- fucking sick, but don’t be too clean, that’s sad if you tend too much”.
My thanks go out to the person who wrote a really awesome list of article suggestions; that was inspiring. Be sure to look out for the next Trojan Horse!
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Although not many of you left feedback, I still found a few gems (both true and scary) in there. I’ll leave you to consider the following:
• “Anal sex makes me have to poop too much, so I don’t like it. I didn’t have an orgasm until I was 22 […] I had my clitoral hood pierced for over a year and it significantly helped me to have my first orgasm (and the subsequent ones)”.
• “You should caution those out there, that going out for a big romantic dinner pre bone is like the fucking worst because then you’re so fucking full and then you fuck and first of all you can’t suck in and feel fat and not that sexy which is a pretty bad feeling when you’re about to have SEX duh! And you’re fucking full and you have to fart midway through. That sucks. So warn people! Because when you have to fart during sex that sucks”.
• “Oh goodness. So many great stories. My hookups recently make my life sound like a joke. We should swap stories over tea some time”.
• (Hhhmm, thanks for the offer but you can just email your kinky stories any time to troho@usc.edu).
• “Every Thursday night I have a threesome with the same two girls”.
• “I’m a loser. Nothing ever happens to me”. (You’re not such a loser now. You were just quoted in the Kinky Kolumn!)
• “Does food taste better with the wrapper on?”
The Low Down on Going Down
They say that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the body. And after being on the receiving end of oral sex enough times, I can say that it is very possible. What is debatable, however, is whether oral sex is as good as or better than penetrative sex. No matter what your opinion, it is impossible to deny the pleasure of a balmy mouth engorging your erogenous core and licking you into ecstasy. The joy of having someone else touch you where it counts is greatly enhanced by the continuous flow of natural, warm lubrication. Whether you’re a seasoned pro or an eager (or apprehensive) beginner, here’s your chance to pick up a few tips to make someone moan. So like your lover—sit back, relax and enjoy.
An Eager Beaver’s Guide to Eating Out
It’s a good idea to start out slowly; give her plenty of time to warm up. With all of the stigmas surrounding oral sex, being on the receiving end can make a girl feel very vulnerable. To ensure a pleasurable experience, make your partner feel as comfortable and relaxed as possible. If your partner is nervous, take your time; let her know that you’re dying to satisfy her.
Begin by caressing and kissing the inside of her thighs and the outside of her vagina. As she gets more aroused, gently spread her lips apart with your fingers. Using just your fingers at first, touch the area above the opening of the vagina, slowly moving up towards her clitoris.
You should be able to tell when she’s ready for more by her moans, or if she’s the quiet type, how wet and slippery she is. It may be most comfortable for both of you to start by placing your hands underneath her butt and lifting her to your mouth. Starting off with a sweeping lick, move towards her clit while swirling your tongue around in small circles using light strokes. As she gets more into it, try slightly changing your technique. However, if you feel like she’s into it, keep going. If you two are feeling adventurous you can try a combination of soft, tender licks or stiff, penetrating thrusts; use your whole flattened tongue or just the tip. Keep in mind that a little saliva goes a long way. As one Metafilter.com contributor suggested, “Slippery is fun. Slobbery is a horror show.”
If you feel her pressing in to you, than you are doing something right. This may mean she wants more pressure or needs some attention elsewhere; try shifting towards the opening of the vagina or applying more pressure on her clit.
Being stimulated on both the inside and outside of the vagina can intensify satisfaction. If your tongue, or mouth, is focusing on her clit use your finger to gently penetrate her vagina. If she is enjoying this, try inserting another finger. Try crossing your forefinger and middle finger to alter the sensation. You can also stimulate her g-spot by sliding a finger or two inside, palm up, and making a slow “come here” motion.
As an alternative, she may enjoy the shallow penetration of your tongue with the pressure of your finger(s) on her clit. With your forefinger you can simply rub her clit in and up-and-down or side-to-side motion. You can also try using your thumb to make small circles on her clit or stroke a greater area of her vagina. It’s important to try touching her both on the inside and the outside of the vagina. The combination of clitoral and vaginal stimulation can often send a girl writhing into ecstasy.
The speed with which you thrust—with tongue or finger—will vary by partner; let her be your guide. Don’t be afraid to try new things. As a general rule, if she likes to be fucked hard and fast towards the end or go slow and steady until climax then that’s most likely the same way she’ll want to be eaten out. Remember that communication, whether verbal or non-verbal, is the easiest way to find out what your partner needs.
A Blow-by-Blow on Sucking Dick
I’m not a man, and therefore I can only speculate as to what feels fantastic; I have, however, had plenty of experience giving blowjobs and have an idea of what works. The following suggestions are a compilation of both personal experience and first-hand, male input.
There isn’t much preparation needed before giving a blowjob: by the time his pants are off, he’s probably hard and that’s almost all you need to begin. Similar to going down on a girl, attitude plays a very important role. A good friend of mine stressed that “the biggest thing is enthusiasm”. Don’t be afraid to ask him what he likes.
Start by taking his dick in your hand and placing your thumb on the head or around the base of his shaft. The key to a good blowjob is maintaining contact with his dick and making sure you keep him well lubricated throughout. Most women are unsure of how hard they should hold a man’s dick—I would suggest using about as much pressure as you would to turn a doorknob. Steer clear of being too timid or overly aggressive. Be Confident.
Place your tongue at the base of his shaft or on the underside of his balls and slowly lick all the way up to the top. Swirl your tongue around the head of his penis a few times then slowly insert as much of him into your mouth as you can take while keeping your hand firmly at the base. Repeat an up-and-down motion a few times, making sure to get him thoroughly wet. This will help you slide your hand up and down his shaft. Find a comfortable rhythm, and stick with it for a little while. Over time the friction created by your hand may make things become dry; take the time to occasionally lick his shaft and re-lubricate the entire area.
Sex should be exhilarating, so alternating hand and mouth techniques along with pressure and speed will help keep things fresh. Try twisting your hand as you embrace his shaft or pausing to lick and tease his head. If you’re feeling bold or just want to take some more cock try giving him a little deep throat action. This is a difficult move because it often induces the dreaded gag reflex. Taking an initial deep breath and mentally preparing yourself will help to minimize this reaction. Keep in mind that your throat is not straight up and down; envision a position that will best accommodate the shape of his penis in your throat. While deep-throating is appreciated, if you can’t fit it all in, that’s ok, continue to pleasure him in a way that is comfortable for both of you.
Loving his dick is not the only thing you can do while giving a blowjob. Much of the feedback I received emphasized the importance of the balls. As one eager friend put it, “remember the balls, use lots of tongue…and massage the balls.” Personally, I’ve found that gently tugging or sucking on them has been well received. Other female friends agree that massaging and caressing them throughout has added to his pleasure. Never be afraid to ask what feels best.
As much as I don’t want to leave a bad taste in your mouth, it’s my responsibility to include the bitter with the sweet. As with any sexual activity, you run the risk of sharing or contracting a sexually transmitted infection (STI). Infected people do not always show signs of an STI, so exercise caution. It may seem unsexy at the time, but using a condom or dental dam can help prevent the transmission of lasting viruses such as Herpes or HPV. There are plenty of resources on campus that can help you learn the risks of oral sex and how to stay safe. Whether you are giving or receiving: be proactive, it’s the sexiest thing you can do.
The Kinkiest Activity of College Students Is…..
November 2006
Kinky is a slang term that means “marked by unconventional sexual preferences” according to dictionary.com In case you don’t know what unconventional means, the American Heritage Dictionary says it’s “not adhering to convention; out of the ordinary.” So if kinky refers to sexual practices that are out of the ordinary, what the hell is kinky anymore? How many people do you know that have had anal sex? Oral sex? Anonymous sex? Threesomes?
How many people do you know who choose not to have sex? Chances are not many. Try as I might (4 hours of web browsing), I couldn’t even find any studies that measured the number of people who are actively choosing not to have sex. Over at Stanford, the Cowell Student Health Services did a survey of students’ sexual activity, alcohol use and other so-called deviant behaviors. The report said that around 71.8% of the 1,155 students surveyed had been sexually active in the last year. Unfortunately, there was no information about how many of them were experiencing a “dry spell” and how many chose not participate.
Our world is full of sex. Advertisements use sex to sell everything: magazines, alcohol, clothes, and cars. Hell, we even sucker you in to reading our little rag with this column. The presumption is that if you own enough crap and dress, act and look a certain way and read Glamour and Cosmo (or Maxim and FHM alternately) your sex life will be fabulous! During my tenure at college, I bought into all that shit. I wore mini-skirts and high heels to parties, used MAC makeup, and drank Jack Daniels and cosmopolitans. I had four relationships during college, ranging from one to eight months long, and had sex with twenty men and three women. I had threesomes; I slept with strangers; I forayed into S & M. By the measures of dominant forces of sexuality in the women’s world (Cosmo, and all the rest of the media), my sex life was hot and so was I.
Well, it certainly didn’t feel that way. In fact, the only reason I had so much sex, and so many partners in the first place was because I never felt satisfied with my experiences. Instead of thinking that it might have something to do with me, like my behaviors or how I approach or think about sex, I always assumed it was because college men are inattentive lovers. And, I won’t totally debunk that theory.
I ran across a study of college women that measures their sexual satisfaction as it relates to their communication inside their sexual relationship (it’s called “Sexual Satisfaction and Self-Disclosure Within Dating Relationships” by E. Sandra Byers). The studies Byers quotes in her introduction show that good communication makes for good relationships and that people in good relationships have good sex. The study’s results show that all of us, regardless of how fully we discuss our likes and dislikes in the bedroom, are still pretty damn satisfied with the level of communication we experience about sex. Of course we are, if we weren’t we’d keep talking, right?
I don’t know about you cats, but I usually talk to people about my likes and dislikes after I’ve already slept with them. How hard is it to say to a guy while you are sleeping with him, “I don’t like it when you thrust so fast”, or “every time you talk dirty it takes up all my energy just to not laugh”? Luckily for us, the study managed to prove that “sexual self-disclosure enhances sexual satisfaction through increased overall relationship satisfaction”; I’m pretty sure that’s scientist for “we wanted the relationship between disclosure and sex to be a direct one, but the truth is that good communication makes good relationships which make good sex”. Thanks; my good friend the serial monogamist could have told you that (and so throughout most of my sophomore year).
Then, I ran across a startling explanation for widespread problems in women’s satisfaction: apparently college age women generally associate submission with sex. Researcher, Amy Kiefer, found this out through a series of word correlations. Dr. Laura Berman wrote a book called Secrets of the Sexually Satisfied Woman, about her discovery that “elements of empowerment are key to a woman’s level of sexual satisfaction.”
In the early 80’s this crazy term called post-feminism sprang up, and women weren’t identifying as feminists because, we weren’t being oppressed anymore, right? But, then why do I feel embarrassed if I have sex with someone without having recently had not only a bikini wax, but a Brazilian bikini wax, (to look like the women in mainstream porn), which makes my privates look like they belong to a 10 year old? Why would I, being of a perfectly healthy height and weight, be self-conscious about my body’s own unique shape (read: small tits, big hips)? Why do I become more socially submissive around men that I’m attracted to? Why can’t I tell them that I don’t like this or that just as plainly as they can point out that my legs have gotten stubble?
When I first attempted to be celibate, it was because I had simply had it with men. My heart had been broken for the last time. Then I started dating someone I didn’t even like, and it was then that I realized the real reason I needed to be celibate: I was trapped in a cycle of making ludicrously similar mistakes over and over again. One of the mistakes I had made with celibacy was not setting limits. I got tricked out of it because I went on a date, and I invited my date into my apartment for tea. Bad idea, “would you like to come in for tea?” often gets heard as “would you like to come in for sex?” as Eddie Izzard pointed out in Dressed to Kill.
To be celibate, you need to understand why you want to be celibate, what you hope to gain from being celibate, and how long you plan to be celibate. Another important thing to know about choosing to be celibate is that you can’t expect your sex drive to go away. You will still be attracted to people. You will still have crushes. But time away from the social expectation of sex is fantastic. Dressing up to try to get laid, dressing to please men, has gone out the window. And when you talk to people at parties, you won’t have to try to figure out if they’re trying to get into your pants or if you’re going to get into theirs. Can’t you just see people, talking, sharing their experiences with this crazy experiment called humanity?
And if that’s not enough of a perk, you can also note the rampant STD problem in this country. Out of five people, one will have Herpes. Half of all people have some type of HPV (which causes genital warts and/or Cervical Cancer, not to mention infertility). Thirty percent of all people have Hepatitis B and have no idea how they got it. The CDC estimates that one out of every five people has one or more STD’s and 12 million Americans get something new every year. According to the American Social Health Organization, by the age of 25 half of all sexually active adults will have or have had an STD (some are curable).
Clearly, the important thing about sex is to know what you’re doing, and what you’re getting yourself into. Play it safe, protect your emotions, your opinion of sex, and your body. And if, like me, you have no idea how to protect all of those things, then consider doing the kinkiest thing of all: choosing not to have sex.
By Bunny Cummings
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