Jacksaur’s Mixtape
SONGS FOR SURVIVING CHRISTMAS EVE
Excuse me, friends, but in my last Mixtape of the semester, I’m gonna talk shop about Christmas. Not Hanukkah, not Kwanza, not Flying Spaghetti Tuesday. Christmas. This isn’t to offend, just to simplify things on my end. Finding ten Xmas songs is a lot easier than ten nondenominational holiday jingles
Face it, Kids Who Grew Up With Christmas (heretofore referred to as KWGUWK, assuring that they will never be referenced again), no matter how good the meal or the company, Christmas Eve is always the very worst day of the year. Not necessarily all day, just the end of it. Why? Because you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, wrapped in bows and paper under a sometimes-plastic (but never in my house) tree. And you want that light, damn it. But, Jesus didn’t have the decency to die 12 hours earlier. So, you’re stuck with the sleepless, cold evening of December 24th, where all the patience and restraint you had displayed for the previous 364 days is suddenly ripped away to reveal the neurotic 6-year-old underneath.
Fortunately, my friends, I present to you now a survival guide for those long, dark hours. Far more than just a musical distraction, the wait for sunrise can now be an hour-long journey into the best things about Christmas. And indie music. Cause this ain’t just any Christmas column. This is JACKSAUR’S SONGS FOR SURVIVING CHRISTMAS EVE!
1. “Merry Christmas Everybody”
ARTIST: Daniel Johnston
ALBUM: Early Tapes
What better way to enter the world of Christmas than to have the enigmatic Mr. Johnston, who probably knows Santa personally, welcome you inside. The deteriorating piano reminds you of the world you are leaving behind: a world without presents.
2. “Sometimes You Have To Work on Christmas (Sometimes)
ARTIST: The Long Winters
ALBUM: Peace on Earth
Don’t want you falling asleep, so let’s get upbeat. Nobody rocks quite like Portland’s The Long Winters, primarily the work of part-time philosophy professor, part-time professional hobo, John Roderick, whose voice reminds of teenage nights with Harvey Danger (which he was a touring member of). He feels your pain as you wait the night through. Sometimes you have to work indeed.
3. “Christmas Is Only Good If You Are A Girl (Boy) – Trading Gifts”
ARTIST: Of Montreal
ALBUM: The Bird Who Continues To Eat The Rabbit’s Flower
The best time for oddity music is the dead of night; under the harsh light of day, the pre-‘99 recordings of current rock-gods Of Montreal would seem too sparse and loose. But in the dead of night, all things in music seem revealed. Behind the syrupy cuteness is a bizarre sentiment on the feelings of Christmas from an alternate perspective.
4. “What’s This?”
ARTIST: Danny Elfman
ALBUM: The Nightmare Before Christmas
A must on every Christmas mix. Fall Out Boy covered this gem and while I enjoy their efforts much more than usual on that track, nothing compares to Elfman’s rendition. Maybe the best damn song ever recorded about Christmas. If you’ve never heard this then you haven’t seen the movie it hails from. Go rent this immediately. You have better things to do with your night now than listen to me blabber on.
5. “Christ Jesus”
ARTIST: Deer Tick
Album: War Elephant
Let’s not forget just who all this fuss is about in the first place. With a social honesty that rings of Steinback and Sinclair, and a hometown attitude instantly original and nostalgic, Deer Tick (aka John McCauley) blows the mind with simplicity. Oh, and that Jesus fella seems aright.
6. “Father Christmas”
ARTIST: The Kinks
ALBUM: Misfits
Wouldn’t be a Christmas album without some cynicism. It’s never as good as you remember it. There’s always weird family crap. Always something that goes irrevocably wrong. Always a pair of socks under the tree. Always a sense of dread that the tree will come alive and consume all living things within reach. You know. Small things. The Kinks don’t have any use for this stupid holiday. Burn that shit down!
7. “We’re Goin’ To The Country”
ARTIST: Sufjan Stevens
ALBUM: Songs For Christmas
No! Wait! Christmas is amazing! You know how I know? Cause Sufjan Stevens told me. And if you don’t think that’s enough, you literally have no taste. You should stop listening to music. You should stop celebrating Christmas. You don’t deserve either.
8. “No Christmas While I’m Talking”
ARTIST: The Walkmen
ALBUM: Bows and Arrows
Here’s where I lull you to sleep, because the presents will come infinitely faster if you sleep a paranoid sleep instead of living in an ever-waking nightmare. On a three-yea-old album, that I’m still finding new value in, the Walkmen manage to convey comfort and ethereal bliss with hands and voices. The hits are hard, the voices gravelly, the production anything but lush. And yet the music will envelope you like your mothers arms or a warm, warm blanket.
9. “Santa Loves To Boogie”
ARTIST: Asleep At The Wheel
ALBUM: Santa Loves to Boogie
Okay, I’m a bastard for putting this after the sleeping song. Fuck me. Sorry. But hey, this’ll either wake you up rudely or give you awesomely bizarre swing dancing dreams. Suppose it could be worse. This is a recent gem from a 30-plus-old western swing outfit. It’s not here cause it’s good. It’s here because it’s hilarious. And when you get woken up from a bad sleep, you probably need something to laugh at.
10. “Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis”
ARTIST: Neko Case
ALBUM: New Coat of Paint: Songs of Tom Waits
Neko Case, covering Tom Waits, doing Christmas. Doesn’t get a lot better than this. It’ll help you sleep, give you dreams of inspiration, and remind you how damn lucky you are. No one writes lyrics like Waits. And no one gets more presents tomorrow than you. Lucky kid.
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